If you did know all of these things, fantastic! I have to admit that before the courses I have taken that study families and marriage, I had not known many of these things. This week in class we discussed the different theories that therapists and social scientists use to analyze families.
What is the difference between a theory, a hypothesis, and a fact? A theory is an explanation of a phenomenon. Phenomenons are simply facts, occurrences, or circumstances observed or observable according to Dictionary.com, and can be as simple as a dog barking. A hypothesis is simply an educated guess that is testable. Another way to think about it would be that it is a prediction that a scientist will continue to investigate. A fact is something that we can see and know. It is indisputable.
The first theory we discussed was the conflict theory. The conflict theory states that all societies, including the family, are characterized by inequality, conflict, and change as groups within the society struggle over resources. As family members, there is always an imbalance of power, and people interact accordingly.
The second theory is the exchange theory. It states that we, as humans, will always attempt to keep our costs lower than our rewards in interaction. It envelops the popular saying "You owe me one". In terms of marriage, it can be the wife saying that they can have sex after the husband helps her clean the house.
The third theory is called the symbolic interaction theory, and it says that humans are primarily cognitive creatures who are influenced and shaped by their interaction experiences. For example, dating, hugging, kissing, etc. all have different meanings between the two people involved. A boy may view himself as asking a girl out on a casual date where they casually kiss at the end to symbolize that he had a good time, but the girl could view the date as a more serious thing and view their kiss as assurance that they are boyfriend-girlfriend.
The last theory is called the systems theory. It states that the intimate group must be analysed as a whole. Families come in varying shapes and forms, and it is important that we view them as a unit that have rules and roles to fill. There are also subsystems inside the system. For instance, in a family consisting of a father, mother, and one child, the subsystems would be the relationship between the father and child, mother and child, and father and mother. Each of these subsystems have their own rules and roles to fill.
The theory that sticks out most to me is the systems theory because there are many roles that are taken on or given to family members, and it is interesting to see which roles need to be filled in a family, and who takes them on and why.
For example, I am the oldest sister of three sisters in my family, but when my parents were getting a divorce I was in college for most of their fighting periods, and then I went on a mission. While I was on my mission, my parents announced their divorce, and my younger sister took on herself the job of comforting my mom. This role was essential for my mom to continue, but because I wasn't there, it naturally fell to the next youngest sister. She did a wonderful job, and my mom has been able to recover from the devastation.
Another role that is needed in a family is the peacemaker. There is generally always someone who takes on the responsibility of being the glue of the family and holding everyone together. This role happens when siblings fight when they are young, and it is also apparent when the family has grown older and the children have moved away. There is someone who brings the family back together and spearheads reunions, etc.
In conclusion, there is are many ways to analyze and create our
families. We all have unspoken rules in our families that other families do not
follow. We can take the initiative to create those rules when we initially
marry, and we can also change the rules when our families are together. Doing
this brings unity, and we are blessed and happier as a family.
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