Since I have began a formal study of marriages and families, I have been impressed with how important and essential a healthy marriage relationship between mother and father is for the healthy development of their children. Being a parent is all-consuming and essential. Parenting includes meeting the physical, emotional, and spiritual needs of your child to help them make good decisions and mature into a well-adjusted adult.
I say this because I don't imagine that it's easy to talk about sex with children for a number of reasons: We may not want to give our children a wrong impression of sexual relations, we may worry that they will become more curious and experiment, we may assume that they will learn enough about it at school, we may worry that we will be giving them too much information, or simply not want to talk about something that is so personal to our relationship with our spouse.
Even though a parent may have these worries, I think it is important for us to teach our children about intimacy (sex and emotional closeness) throughout their childhood.
"A Parent's Guide" has 10 great guidelines for teaching children that I want to highlight and comment on why I think it's important in teaching children:
1. Share the responsibility to teach with your spouse.
It's good if one parent is willing to talk about harder topics, but it's best when they know that it's okay to talk to either parent about hard topics.
2. Teach your children by example.
I've never been a parent, but I imagine that this will be difficult for me. I remember that sometimes my parents would say "do as I say, not as I do". It was a funny little motto for when they would contradict themselves, and I don't think it's harmful, but when we are consistently doing things differently from what we teach, it gets confusing for our children.
3. Be consistent in your behavior.
This goes along with number two, and we can teach/model self-discipline as we do so.
4. Counsel with your children.
Oh, I remember the notable days when my parents asked me my opinion about decisions made, and when they explained why they wanted to do something specific. Children love to share opinions and be heard.
5. Pass righteous judgement on your children.
I believe what is meant here (I could be wrong!) is that we need to be able to judge where our children are at, and what principles they need to learn.
6. Provide a positive emotional climate in your home.
I do not think that a positive emotional climate is easy to produce, but I know the hard work and self-discipline will pay off! A positive emotional climate helps anyone (not just children) to feel comfortable to explore their thoughts and feelings.
7. Hold family home evenings regularly.
Now that we are changing to two-hour church, I would add that we can hold a family devotional regularly with the Come, Follow Me manual. These formal teaching times give opportunities for us to teach true principles to our children.
8. Share your thoughts and feelings with your children.
Vulnerability is never easy, but I believe the more open we are with our children, the more willing they will be to share their thoughts and feelings. This can be done in a formal setting, or in a non-formal setting.
9. Break the routine.
Honestly, I'm not sure why this would be helpful for children other than giving yourself more spontaneous teaching opportunities. Have fun with them and enjoy their company.
10. Express your love to your children regularly and frequently.
Who doesn't want to hear how much their loved? It is so assuring for me as an adult, that I can only imagine how assuring it would be for my children.
When approaching children with these difficult topics, these principles can help to cultivate a good teaching environment. I suggest you to read "A Parent's Guide" and pray for help in knowing what you can do to teach your wonderful children. :)
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